The Great News About the Way You Think!

Love is hard to find, right? It’s even harder to keep! No one is truely happy and we all die alone. Blah, yawn, whatever.

I’m sorry but that’s all just a big, fat, used bloody tampon of lies sliding down a wall.

Calm down, if you think it’s true, that’s fine. Rest assured it’s not your fault for thinking this.

From where you’re standing, everywhere looks like it’s someplace else! But from where I’m standing, everywhere is right here.

Why is that, Mila? You ask.

Well, that’s easy and hard, just like like my sister and her ex-husband.

So after hours of extreme thinking, I’ve come up a with some stuff!

The Good News About the Way You Think!

None of who you think you are is actually who you really are! Cool, huh? See, you don’t have a clue who you are. Nobody has a clue who you are either!

Don’t worry about it. You’ve been getting brain-fucked from so many sides it would be amazing if you hadn’t turn into an unfeeling, mindless, info-zombie. But you did do that, so… ┬áBut hey! On the bright side, you don’t even know it!

Believe it or not, I didn’t come up with this! Mad props to Jesus, who Kickstartered this like 100 years ago, during the Spanish World War! It’s true, so email him if you want to know more about it. Jesus rocks! Drug dealers are so hot. That’s in the Bible too, by the way!

It’s all about the way the establishment write movies, and Netflix and HBO shows. Steroids they put into muisic and shit. It all goes right to your celebrity cortex. Everyone listen up, this is serious business. You do realize those fatcats in Hollywood don’t even do coke anymore! Think about that. Yeah, it’s a huge mess down there.

Anyway, come on, you can’t keep hating love and happiness, especially when I find it all the time.

And I know you’re jealous only because you’re conditioned, like my lustrous hair or like a hobo’s paralysed right hand! You’re mindless, not mindful so you keep on consuming pointless blood sacks of information that tell you how to act, behave, date, eat, love and live until you’re forcing those rancid meat-rots down your own throat! Gawd, you’re not even chewing! You just smash them down your gullet and they get forced out your butt-hole like a sausage-maker. Stop the cycle! It’s gross.

Look at me! I could never do that, not even with my, some say superhuman gag reflex. Still, yeesh! That’s disgusting.

But all of you know by now that I’m a problem solver! Lucky you guys, right? So what’s the answer to all your problems? Well, with out bragging I can say confidently that I condensed it down to a short paragraph in like 15 minutes.

So here it is.

“Anime characters are totally like you and me. Well, the super hot leggy ones with grey eyes are anyways. But the crazy shit that happens to them, in each episode, that’s like… Crazy! And that’s what you need in your life!”

You’re welcome.

So as I have clearly laid out for you, love, life and happiness are right there inside you. Just be open minded to the possibility of what craziness life may have for you around the corner!

But this is also a warning. For if you don’t let your crazy run through the woods sometimes it might be the very thing what’s waiting around that corner, ready to eat your face off.

Your face! You need that.

– Mila (with my friend Red who has been overflowing with inspiration for the last two days)

I’m More than an Artist.

This is a bonus exerpt that isnt even in the blog that’s how giving I am. I feel sorry that the guy broke his guitar but he can just buy a new one. That experience I gave him – he should be thanking me.

So I’m lousy with money. My friends annoy the hell outta me. I’m self-centered, crazy-stupid gorgeous and really cool.

And I totally think outside the box, like earlier today, I was sitting by the canal and this fucker came up to me with a guitar and said he wanted to play me a song. And just like that I said, “No! I’m gonna play you a song!” I never touched a guitar in my life! The guy was amazed! He said he didn’t think sounds like that were possible!

That got me thinking, right? Playing music and shit isn’t like brain science or being a model. I could totally do that. Cuz being a model is wicked hard.

When I finished singing I chucked the guitar back to him and he dropped it. The guy got all mad but I told him he should forget about it. If he can’t even hold it there’s no hope for him. Geezuz I feel bad for his girlfriend, all clumsy like that.

Then I got hungry from creating that song on the spot so I called my friend and told him he could take me to dinner. Made his day. I do that for people.

And this is another thing! Make-up is totally mad skills. Art is just what I do, I can’t help it. Like that guy who accidentally spilled paint on the floor or something. I’m messy like that too but he was actually a business man so he sold the floor for a million and now it’s hanging in a museum. That’s how it’s done. No one knows what they’re doing in art so this is the perfect life for me!

The food sucked at diner but it was really expensive so I pretended it was good and then guess what? The guy with his guitar from before comes on the little stage they had! Turns out he’s some huge recording guy. He sings a few songs and he’s like awesome!

Then he says that this strange human broke his guitar today and he wrote a song about it. I knew the human was me! And it was the best song I ever heard but everyone was laughing, which made me feel bad for the dude.

So see, I can’t help it. I’m even more than just a stupid fucking artist!

I’m ART!

Everything isn’t fast enough!

My phone is slow. My WiFi connection is stupid slow. My computer is a fuckin’ yolk of oxen slow.

Time is slow and I’m sooooo bord! Everything is so slow.

It took a day just to get someone to Tinder me. Wtf??? I’m hot.

They took forever to show up at the club and the waitress took forever to bring our drinks. It took forever to finish ’em.

I couldn’t stand how long it took my date to form a thought. And who the hell talks about “love at first sight” when ya first meet somebody?

I mean seriously slow down!